After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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