He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
