I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she looked like the before picture.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
