yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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