i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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