Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
