And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
