Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
