My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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