I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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