32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
