Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
