Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize