No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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