Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You were trust falling into bushes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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