Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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