Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
