ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
