If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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