apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
