i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
