Umm I'm too high to move.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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