Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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