dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
