i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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