I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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