Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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