it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
