Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
