Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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