Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize