i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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