I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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