so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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