I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
