that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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