biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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