none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
