can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
