i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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