Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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