You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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