Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
