She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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