craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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