Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
