If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
