help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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