we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
