She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
