dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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