do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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