their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
