You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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