do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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