At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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