hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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